White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
