you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The power of my boobs compel you
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
