is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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