i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
