I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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