I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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