is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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