So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
