I cannot find my penis.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
