Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
