I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
