i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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