I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You don't make any sense
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