I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
