Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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