did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
