some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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