You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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