Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
