Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
