my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
