We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just forgot I was standing up.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
