Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
