No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's just like the Real World with babies
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
