P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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