I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
