ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
