i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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