Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
