just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
