I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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