Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
