This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
