I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
