We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
