marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize