fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
