Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
