Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
