How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
