make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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