Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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