peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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