i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
