It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
