And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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