dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
