other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
