So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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