Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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