you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
All the doctor said was why
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
