you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
